and I love you so

Dear friends, At this time last year, I was also an excited bride-to-be. My husband and I were keen on looking for ways to make sure that we will have the wedding of our dreams may it be by attending as much bridal fairs as we can, going to Divisoria on weekends and being as much hands-on as we can. We succeeded. On August 8, 2008, my husband and I were married in Antipolo Cathedral and it was the happiest day in our lives. After the wedding, we moved to an apartment immediately and experienced the independent and carefree life of a newlywed couple. We traveled, went to malls and enjoyed life's simple pleasures like cuddling on DVD nights or doing the grocery on payday or eating burger at midnight or doing the house chores while playing loud music. (Embedded image moved to file: pic12760.jpg) But everything crashed on May 1 this year. Eight months through our marriage, my husband had a heart attack while swimming during our company outing. There was no premonition. We really didn't expect it. Although he had a family history of heart conditions, he was so fit and healthy. I couldn't find words to describe what I feel - anger, pain, guilt.... He passed away at the time when we were so in love and had so much hope for the future. We didn't even have the chance to have kids together. I am still in pain. I am still grieving. I have my good days when I can appreciate the blessings in spite of the tragedy. But most of the time I have my bad days when I feel like tearing my hair out and just cry myself to sleep. It is especially difficult now because our first wedding anniversary is coming up. I keep remembering how my husband and I would talk about how we would spend it and where we would travel to celebrate it. Thinking about that day really scares me. But I am writing not to paint a grim picture of my life. I am sharing this because I would like to point out five lessons in our love story which hopefully would do some good for married couples, even future ones too. · Never waste your time with petty quarrels - Although our married life was happy, we were not a perfect couple. We also have our petty quarrels like tampuhan over who would prepare our meal or for not being able to text at the right time or for being 30 minutes late. We 'd not talk for some time until during the wee hours in the morning when we were both in bed then he would reach out and hug me then say, "bati na tayo." Oh how I wish I could bring back the time and not even bother with these petty things. Never ever let a day pass without patching things up and talking it over. Now I realize that I should have said sorry more often. · Offer words of affirmation - I remember how we would often ask each other: do you love me or are you happy with me? It was good that we did this because right now, his words of affirmation keep me going whenever I am on the verge of depression. Besides, expressing your love and your happiness will add strength to yo ur relationship. · Find joy out of simple things - Always show your partner that you appreciate him - whether it's a phone call during the day to say hello, or buying lugaw for pasalubong, or cooking his favorite meal. And when he does some thing for you, don't forget to say thank you even for little things. As they say, familiarity breeds contempt - don't fall into that trap. · Always make memories - Our time was short but for me, every minute was in color. Every word exchanged, every place we've been to and every restaurant we ate at were all deeply etched on my mind. It helped that we had our websites and albums to document our life together. Our first purchase as a couple was a digital camera and it was so well-used that we were able to build 6 albums of pictures in such a short time. · Express your love - A hug, a touch in the head, a peck on the cheek - there are so many ways to express your love. But most importantly, verbalize it. Saying "I love you" as much as you can will not only make your partner feel good but will also inspire him. We were married on 888 and spent 8 months together as husband and wife. Yes, I still feel rotten and empty at times. But I have hope in the future and trust in the Lord. I will survive this. My husband's life was short but it was a life well-lived. But I believe in our love and I believe that we will see each other again - in God's time. God bless all of you. Roanna (ni Jarwin) 8-8-8 | Antipolo Cathedral